Dboy's Steaming Pile of Blog

2010-05-25T10:03:00.005+10:00

At church last Sunday, I was enthralled by a message our pastor was giving. A question he repeatedly asked us was that when we meet a new person, do we see them as a friend or as an enemy?

For me, I was brought back to different environments that I have had exposure to where I have seen people as friends, and others where I seemed to react to an air of competition or hostility. I think that our reaction depends on several things: our personality (natural tendencies), our previous experiences and our perception of the environment that we are in.

The first school that I attended, from Prep class, was welcoming. I developed natural relationships with one or two close friends, a few more tenuous links with the rest of my class and only experienced minor animosity towards who was perceived as the 'class bully' (in hindsight, he was quite soft). After moving from South East Melbourne to the more rural North East, I discovered the dynamic of my new school was very different. It seemed to be natural for people at this new school to be outwardly friendly, however when it suited them, they would take every opportunity to humiliate you to extent their own place within the social hierarchy. Individually, most of the kids were genuinely kind people, but when a group formed a pack mentality ensued. The most vulnerable member of any group was victimised and made the butt of all and any joke; they were treated unfairly in any games that were played; anything they said was scoffed at and ridiculed by every member of the pack. For me, the scariest thing about this experience, in hindsight, was that in a very short time I became a fully fledged subscriber to this social culture, despite continually falling victim to it. I became malicious, manipulative and I mistreated vulnerable people. My previous disposition was to see new people as genuine friends; I learned to see other class members, new people and even teachers as enemies, or at the very least friends of convenience.

I am reminded of "The Great Gatsby", where Jay Gatsby invited people to his property every week for a Saturday night party, including the protagonist (Nick Carroway), but no so that he can see them as friends, but for his own ends: to find a link to his old lover, Daisy. Gatsby seems to approach anyone he meets with the 'What can I get out of this?', rather than the 'What can I give?', attitude. In addition, the parties that ensue are a fascinating melting pot of drunkenness, debauchery and hostility [see the YouTube clip below].

Characters at the party start fights for the simple purpose of creating something to do...

[more to come later]

Insecurities, Fear and Love

2008-03-17T22:00:00.002+11:00

I was awake in my bed just a few seconds ago praying and felt that I needed to come and get this off my chest/share it with you. Here 'tis.

I was thinking about personality types and fear. Sometimes I think people (like me) who have quite... 'loud' personality types often struggle with a certain type of insecurity/fear. I was lying in my bed thinking that one of my greatest fears is that people at my work will one day turn around, take a look at me and say:

"What are you even doing in this profession? You are a fraud and you really have no idea what you're doing!"

I present a certain facade in the classroom, which is a necessary thing when I am teaching, and I present a certain facade in the professional arena for my colleagues. Perhaps 'facade' is an inaccurate word; perhaps it is more accurate to say that I exaggerate certain aspects who I am.

But the thing is this: I don't know everything about teaching. I make a lot of things up. Sometimes, on the spot. I 'ad lib' some of my classes. Sometimes, I throw what I had planned for the following term out the window and plan a terms worth of work in the classroom on the spot. Not just this though, but I am almost waiting for someone to come out of somewhere and tell me that I don't do yard duty 'right', I don't speak to students 'right', I don't interact with colleagues 'right', I don't plan curriculum 'right' and they now see the other parts of who I am and have decided that I am a totally inept member of the teaching profession.

Then I remembered something...

It wasn't actually me who made me join the teaching profession. Time and time again, I have had confirmation beyond my own powers that God has me exactly where He wants me. If that is true, then whether I should be allowed in a classroom or not is not something that I have to worry about at all. Apparently, God seems to think that I am suited to this job, or he wouldn't have put me here in the first place. Apparently, He has given/is giving me the skills that I need to be a blessing to my students and workplace.

I let the truth of that wash over me as I lay in bed. I was reminded of the verse:

"A perfect love casts out all fear" (1 John 4:18).

I imagined that God's truth and perfect love was entering into my body from toe to head, pushing the fear out as it moved powerfully through.

I am very glad that I offered God the choice of what profession I would enter into, because now I can trust him that as long as I am diligent, I don't need to be afraid of being 'exposed'.

Malcolm Thunderbutt

2008-02-22T12:44:00.008+11:00

Because it certainly isn't not not about this person.

Looking

2007-12-05T09:33:00.000+11:00

Well, I'm on the search for work at the moment and am having a few setbacks. It's ok - as my brother pointed out in an email recently, God is very deliberate about where he is placing me and the journey he is taking me on. It would just be nice if that journey settled down for more than a year or so, but then again, maybe he's teaching me to rest on His provision rather than resting on the assurance of an ongoing job. Not that they're necessarily mutually exclusive, but perhaps I am in danger of that without learning what He has to teach me during this time.

It's all yours, Big Daddy. You know what you're doing.

Came across this today. I'm never buying a wedding dress from Macy's ever again!

Oh, and check out how her wedding turned out.

BATMAN and a Question...

2007-11-29T10:22:00.000+11:00

First of all this:
I can't WAIT to see how Heath Ledger goes at playing the joker. It's going to be hard to out-do Jack (kinda like Johnny Depp struggled to maintain Gene Wilder's standards for the Chocolate Factory getup), but if he brings his own manic flavour it could be one helluva ride :)

One thing I was wondering on my way to work today, what is the Christian view of gambling? I know some Christians do not enter Tatslotto based on principal, but then I have seen these same people enter competitions to win stuff. Is there a difference? Is the Bible explicit in its discouragement? Does it discourage at all? I'm aware of the whole 'drawing lots for Jesus' robe' thing, but that is neither contains positive or negative connotations (it's merely a fulfillment of prophecy).

Your thoughts?

Funny

2007-11-20T11:07:00.000+11:00

I'm not sure whether this is blasphemous, but it DOES have some funny in-jokes :D

How cool!

2007-10-26T12:06:00.000+10:00

First of all, this:

Next of all, things are pretty hectic for me at the moment. I feel like I'm kind of in hibernation: haven't been to church in a while, don't go many places except for work. Work is hard at the moment, I miss my wife and child (who are in Germany/Turkey) and if I didn't have Andrew living with me at home I think I'd go insane... well maybe insane-er...

Anyway, I will rise from my deep cavern soon - probably not before school is done, along with reports, marking and everything else that makes a teacher's job at this stage difficult. Anyone who thinks working as a teacher is all holidays should have a go - you're in for a wonderful surprise :D

Before I Go...

2007-09-19T09:21:00.000+10:00

Just some personal thoughts as I was musing this morning. Please indulge my inner monologue :)

I love that I know God through personal experience.
I love that it makes sense to me to believe in him.
I love that I am convinced by relationship and logic.
If I didn't have both of those, my faith would feel empty.

I love that I am connected and loved and considered to be precious and not lonely.
I love that the simple message of Jesus is so overwhelmingly beautiful.

We're Almost (Over) There

2007-09-17T09:58:00.001+10:00

Wow, so it's about three days till we (Chrystal, Isaac and I) will be on a plane heading to see my wonderful brother and our wonderful almost-sister and her wonderful family. I'm very much looking forward to meeting them and even more-so seeing my brother again. It will be a decent plane trip, and hope that iBoy is able to get some sleep and refrain from climbing all over the plane.

He has just started to go nuts with the crawling, and if you take your eyes off him for a second, all you will see will be scorch marks on the ground, leading to where he is powering towards; he is usually heading to an area of the house that he doesn't spend much time in - he is acutely aware of everything that he has seen before and items/places/people that he has not. Ergo, his toys are largely left un-played with, while the cords that lead to the back of my computer are endlessly fascinating. He is so funny sometimes - he tried to poke his head into the shower while I was in it the other day and ended up with a wet head and a mouth full of metal shower frame. He also likes attempting to put screwdrivers in his mouth - I gotta get a shed to put those tools in.

Anway, we leave Thursday morning, and I am extremely excited. Andrew (a good friend) will be kindly minding our house while we are away, which I hope will be of benefit to him as well :)

Our itinerary looks a little like this:

20-24 September - Northeast, Maryland, America (the highlight of which is my brother's wedding on the 22nd - still gotta write that best man speech!).

25-28 September - London (The Globe here I come!)

29-1 October - Genova, Italy (mmmm, pasta).

2-3 October - Frankfurt, Germany (where we see our good friends, Sophie and Nathan Percy)

Actually, the 3rd of October is the day that I will be leaving to go back to Aus. Chrystal and Isaac will stay in Germany with our friends for about three weeks. I am very grateful that Chrystal has that opportunity - I would've liked to stay in America and Europe for longer too, especially the US to see more of my brother, but my work calls. I will try not to cry when Chrystal and iBoy see me off at the airport. No, you're right, I won't try not to cry; I just wanted to put that link in.

Speaking of work, it looks like my job (which was a 1 year maternity position) will not be available next year, as the person I was covering for is coming back. Interesting. In many ways, I will be sad to leave Southwood. There are some amazing kids here, and some really wonderful staff members. We will see what God does next year - looks like he's got me on a very interesting path and I am looking forward to seeing where it leads (those of you who know the story so far will know what I'm talking about!). If you think of me, please shoot up a quick prayer about it :)

Ok, back to marking. Enjoy yourselves.

Prayer Words

2007-08-30T10:54:00.000+10:00

I think the word "just" should be eradicated from everyone's prayer vocabulary. It is such an abused and overused word, and it is often used ad nauseum in the common prayer. God doesn't "just" do anything.

Also, I remember a pastor once saying to me:

"If you don't say thank you after your prayer, you are either rudely ungrateful or you don't have faith for what you just prayed."

Interesting.

What Is Your Favourite Music Video Clip?

2007-06-01T12:48:00.000+10:00

I thought I'd do a bit of a post that required participation from you guys, because:

a) it is an interesting topic, and
b) our combined amount of interesting-ness is far greater than my own.

So, what is your favourite music video clip? I have a few, but I thought I'd start off with this one.

I've always loved the song, and I think that the video actually enhances its meaning very well. They are very complimentary.

Your turn!

The New Centre of the World

2007-04-21T13:27:00.000+10:00

...well, for Chrystal and I at least :)

Sorry for the lack of posting recently. I have been feeling a touch overwhelmed by school stuff, and I guess the blog is the first thing to feel the squeeze. I thought, rather than give a deluge of the past 'however-long-it-has-been-since-I-last-posted' of events, for my own sanity I would just give a snippet here and there.

First of all, for those who have not met Issac (or 'Snorty' as he is often called) yet, here is a video I uploaded to the ol' 'Tube. He is the bee's knees. Forever and ever, Amen.

I sound a little silly, but then I guess it's the role of a father to dote. I'm quite happy with that.

"I Hope You Like Pain..."

2007-02-20T08:57:00.000+11:00

Hope away...

This is a little clip that myself, King Kohl, Film Guru and Tink were watching last night. We couldn't stop laughing. It looks like it's taken form some reality TV show, kinda like a fighting version of American Idol or something. I think the thing that makes it most funny is the arrogance of these guys. They obviously think that their 1337 ninja jutsus are something to behold.

Shun the Unbeliever!!!

2007-02-05T13:46:00.000+11:00

Um... wtf?

Overcoming Post Natal Hibernation With Photoslaught Therapy

2007-01-17T15:40:00.000+11:00

A proud daddy.

KK, Revhead and Caity came to visit

A beautiful mummy
Tink came to visit (no prizes for guessing what bub was thinking about in this photo)
One of the first couple of days at the hospital
Some wonderful uncles (Wire, Daniel and Neale)
Three generations (grandpa, uncle and newborn)
My brother Mic, who went to America this morning (*sob*). He has, by the way, the cutest photo of Isaac to date on his blog.
This is about 10 minutes after he was born - huge eyes open straight from the womb!
The cutest baby in the world (I'm not biased, I swear)

If WW2 Was Fought By Gamers

2006-12-08T09:05:00.000+11:00

I came across this the other day, and as a bit of a gamer myself, couldn't help but to fall off my chair in laughter. Apologies in advance to those who don't know much l337speak. While there's no actual swearing, there are some references (kinda like when people say "flippin" instead of the other word), so mind if you are offended :)

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0JO: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got crap to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bull**** u ***s im gunna kick ur asses
T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: wtf
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bull**** u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right biznitch im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh **** help
Hitler: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj patton
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: eisenhower hax hes killing all my ****
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny-tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun ****socker
Stalin: rofl
T0J0: HAHAHHAA
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: my teammates are n00bs
benny-tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this **** im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Hitler[AoE]: wtf?
Eisenhower: **** now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy ****holy****hoylshti!!!111
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bull**** u fockin suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny-tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny-tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny-tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all ***s
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o ****!
*paTTon has left the game.*

I Forgot...

2006-12-03T12:31:00.000+11:00

...how much I love poetry, and how I wasn't that bad at it. I can't find all of my pain-filled poems of Year 11 and 12 (which is a bit disappointing), but I came across this the other day. I've spent so much time over the past few years writing argumentative and informative stuff for uni that I had almost forgotten that I even had a creative side. Anyhow, this is one of the poems I found (10 points for the person who can suggest a good title!). By the way, I wrote this before "The Passion of Christ" came out, so it wasn't inspired by the movie.

Courageous Christ,
You held back your fist
When they bloodied your face.
You restrained your army
When they ripped you with whips.

Brave Jesus,
You reserved your justice
As they spat on your name.
You stayed your might
As they blackened your body.

Angels watched.
Did they cry? Did they weep?
Did they scream in frustration?
Tears and burning swords.
Blood, vinegar and thorns.
Painful nails in their Lord of Lords.

Silence.
One voice.
He speaks.
And eternity stands amazed.

"Father forgive them for they know not what they do."

-

Unfathomable you,
As I nail you to the cross with my sin,
As angels cry in disgust at my wrongs,
As I heap the evil I do upon your back,
You lay on a cross
Asking for my forgiveness
And proving your most powerful love.

"Here, Take My +1 Mace!"

2006-10-20T00:16:00.000+10:00

I'm not usually an avid watcher of South Park, but I stumbled upon a snippet of this episode while browsing through SpikedHumor.com (spelt poorly, I know). I decided that this episode needs to be shared to the world, and the first step would be to post it on my blog.

The people who own the rights have been kind enough to allow the whole episode to be hosted on YouTube, so if you have a spare 20 mins, sit back and enjoy this (if you don't have a spare 20 mins, wait till you do)...

Apart from being very funny, I think the fact that a computer game would be the central focus of a whole episode in a mainstream adult cartoon (even if it is alternative mainstream), says a lot about the way our society is heading. I think the success of World of Warcraft is heavily influenced by the fact that people who engage with it are finding genuine (to some degree) friends through their interactions with people online. I know from my experience with the game that when you join up with people in this game, you can really create a long lasting alliance, and even get the opportunity to speak into each others' lives sometimes (I had an amazing discussion more than once with a couple who played together - we got real deep actually). I can understand why this game is being used as a medium for people in our society to rediscover community.

What do you reckon? Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Is it a sign of things to come?

Ankhtack of the Cabbits!

2006-10-06T14:25:00.000+10:00

I wrote a part of a story. Would you like to add to it?

Ankhtack of the Cabbits

Twelve past midnight, a surly cabbage passed along its surly way. It went to see Ronald from the Bon-Bon, a wise and mighty rabbit, where they would at once partake of 'the naughty' and spawn a peculiar sort of progeny. Their intent? To rule Egypt, land of the ankh...

The wall of the building closest ran slick with grey-water and thriving algae, cold and slimy to the touch. The small lane looked like a roughly hewn pathway cut into a mountain. A pale moon glow gleamed in the reflection of recently fallen rain. The cabbage rolled onwards...

[insert the next part of the story here]

And Another Thing...

2006-09-18T02:06:00.000+10:00

I don't know what that other thing is yet, but when I think of something, I'll tell you.

Things have been going very well as of late. I am learning and learning and learning how to be a better teacher, and learning and learning and learning that I really need to stop putting off my marking. We're doing Michael Moore's "Bowling for Columbine" in my Year 10 class at the moment, and it's lots of fun. We have a good time bagging out both Michael and the American public that is represented (the bloke is highly manipulative, but clearly doesn't have to look very far to find material for his 'documentary').

Year 8's have just finished "Tomorrow When the War Began", and I think we'll all be sorry to see the back of that text. Onto something else that I can't remember next.

And my Year 9's have had a good go at "Deadly Unna?" (an amazing book about Australian racism by a guy called Philip Gwynne - I'd recommend it to anyone) and have "The Truman Show" to look forward to.

I think my speciality in English is teaching film as text. I love being able to rip apart the techniques that film makers use to express their content. It's really good fun. I think I could be a decent Media teacher too. My film-focused buddies have been a big inspiration to me where this is concerned. Thanks Guru and Alex :)

Anyway, school holidays now, and today Chrystal and I made a big effort at cleaning up the house. It looks SO much better - we got into all of the cupboards and wardrobes and just started throwing out everything that we didn't need. My main philosophy on that subject is "If you have survived the past little while without it, then most likely you are not going to miss it iff it goes". Books have are the exception here - they never lose value. Seasonal items also can be exempt. Broken lamps are not.

Ah... well, I thought this was funny. Have a squizz...

HEADSHOT!

2006-08-18T01:09:00.000+10:00

Haha, fans of Unreal Tournament will love this one.

The Proverbial 'Bun'

2006-08-05T21:49:00.000+10:00

Spicks and Specks

2006-07-30T23:11:00.000+10:00

I done some fings wot I reckon are gr8. Lookie here...

This guys ere are me and my bruvva inlaw bein lifted up by my uvva mate whos like real tuff. His names Matt. Dis happnd at church afta da sermen n stuff, and we was goin crayzie! LOL!

Dis is moi woife, which I done impregnateded. Shes like rooly cute wid da baby in her tummy, an a little whoil ago we went an saw da baby in her tummy wiv loik a doc bloke who rubbed a scanner or somefink ova her tummy. It wos rooly cool. We saw da babys face an that.

Dis is moi desk wot I do moi nerd stuffs at, when I're not playin footy or drikin BEER.

A Story I Wrote for a Year 11 Extra

2006-07-24T10:53:00.000+10:00

A donkey. You'd never believe it by the way that it looked at me. Vicous, understanding, benevolent. Its head was half-hidden by a pole. The pole turned green with envy, purple with royalty. How was this possible? A vicious, understanding, benevolent donkey? Head half-hidden by a pole? I wanted to see the half-hidden head. I wanted to be near it, stepping closer.

The pole stopped me. It was red. Anger poured from its concrete base and at its top flew the Jolly Roger. It threatened my curiosity with rageful piracy. I knew very well how cats die.
I sidestepped to left, but the keen, unwavering gaze of the vicious, understanding, benevolent donkey alerted the pole. The Jolly Roger turned to face me once more.

My mind strained beneath the tension, between my burning curiosity and fear of the pole; fear of the raging flag. Which way could I turn? What path was open to me? I must see the half-hidden head!I must gaze upon that which taunts me with its half-hiddenness! But I cannot! I am stalled! I am held hostage! I am BOUND and ANGRY and TREMBLING with STILLNESS. Rising frustration boils about my brain and my mind... is slowly... maddening...

I can feel my whole being twist in on itself.

One final moment of indescribable insanity and... POP!

In a peculiar paradox my descent into madness, from madness, has reversed itself. I take my red pen. I put it to the page. And I continue with my marking.

Weapons of Mass Coolnessness

2006-07-14T13:01:00.000+10:00

Hey! I found this really awesome video which gives the top ten coolest weapons ever designed in a videogame.

The silly computer I'm on won't let me link it, so I'll give you the site manually. It's http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxSdKF5Fd38.

Can you think of any others that deserved a mention? I reckon the nuke from Command and Conquer: Generals was pretty darn cool. What were your favourites?

It's Funny Cos It's True

2006-07-06T11:49:00.000+10:00

Until I Can Be Bothered With A Proper One

2006-06-28T21:53:00.000+10:00

I really do love you all, but my motivation for blogging has been surpassed recently by my motivation to do absolutely nothing on account of the fact that I am on holidays.

So I'm gonna cop out and give you something funny to have a look at instead (emailed to me by my beautiful wife as a suggestion for a blog entry a little while back). See if you can think of some more!

Performance Evaluations Quotes

These are actual quotes taken from some Australian Government
Department's employee performance evaluations:

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-
bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but
more of a definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered
like a rat in a trap."

5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to
change feet."

6. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently
fails to achieve them."

9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an
idiot."

10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts,
the better.."

11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold
it all together."

12. "A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary
ignoramus."

13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

15. "He's been working with glue too much."

16. "He would argue with a signpost."

17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored,
he's the other one."

20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done
using it."

23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train
isn't coming."

24. "He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is out
looking for it."

25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered
twice a week."

26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts,
you'd get change."

27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the
ocean."

28. "It's hard to believe he beat off 1,000,000 other sperm."

29. "One neuron short of a synapse."

30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge;
he only gargled."

31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'."

32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

A Fresher Mind

2006-05-30T09:41:00.000+10:00

I got a good night's sleep last night, and recovered from the angry lump in my throat (which I received during the day from a few difficult students), and so now I am posting anew.

Before I begin, a point to note on the last post is that I didn't intend the word 'stuffed' to indicate that I was stuffed because Chrystal was pregnant (after re-reading that, I realised how it sounded and was annoyed, because I would never be that crass about something so important). I simply and purely meant that I was absolutely fragged, and thus didn't even notice the possible insinuation.

So yes! I will be a father, beginning from around about the date of December 8th. I can't believe it yet - it is such a difficult concept to get my head around. I think it sinks in through stages: first you start trying, and you go "Hmmm..."; then you find out that it has happened, and you go "Oh!"; then you start telling other people and you go "Hang on...."; and then the next step will be when Chrystal starts showing and the baby starts kicking, and then I'll be like "Oh my goodness...". When the bub's actually born I think I probably be speechless, jaw dropped. I'm not sure you can even begin to verbalise the thought process, if there is one.

In other stuff, I started teaching at Plenty Valley the Monday before last, and it is going very, very well. My Year 8's are beautiful - we're doing What's Eating Gilbert Grape at the moment, which they love, and they also love hearing my stories of the last place I used to work (ie. the Special School). I'm teaching them a heap, not just about studying film, but about disability, autism and intillectual disorders. I hope to be able to show them that people who are different from them, maybe a little bit slower, can still be amazing people.

My Year 10's are fantastic. My little sister is in this class, and she is a gem, and all her friends are wonderful. Either because of her, or because these guys are maturing a little more, I have a really good relationship with most of the people on this year (I also have a Year 10 home group). I value them as people and want them to succeed, and they in turn value me as a teacher and give me the respect I need to be able to run a good class.

My Year 9's are a little different. One class, who I only have for one period a week, are difficult to manage. They are the ones who rattled my cage yesterday afternoon. I rattled their cage back >:), and they can expect a heck of a lot more where that came from. I plan to walk into that class a very angry teacher, and dare them to give me schtick.
Anyway, my other Year 9 class is coming along. Apparently this class has been trouble all the way from Year 7, but them and I have struck a happy bargain. I put into practice the theory of 'negotiated curriculum', where I sat down with them, discussed what we needed to cover for the rest of the year, and then negotiated with them what they woul like to do more of, less of and other things that they want to do altogether. They responded really well to this, and it was great for me to be able to give them some power in terms of what they learn during the year. Then I told them the flip side of this though, and said that if they continued to give me grief, then I would pull out my grammar books and we would sit there in silence for the rest of the year doing exercises. You could've heard a pin drop. So I'm excited to see how this pans out.

So, at the moment I have my Year 9 exams to mark, plus Year 9 Christian Ed and Year 8 English assignments. Should have it done very soon, and then I can enjoy my holidays!

"Chrystal's pregnant, and I'm stuffed"

2006-05-29T17:31:00.000+10:00

Heading says it all.

Me tired. School kids are tired-ing me.

Ngggffff......

The Guy With The Sword, If You're Confused...

2006-05-11T00:47:00.000+10:00

This is worth a look.

A lot of it looks a bit like play fighting if you ask me - made me want to do an Indiana Jones and pull out my gun :)

And this is for all you World of Warcraft kids out there. Oh, hang on, that would only be me, hey? And not even me, cos I've only played it once (for about a week). Nevertheless, the concept is an interestong one.

Oh, and this is for all you poor unfortunates who have yet to see one of the funniest skits ever done.

Joke Time!

2006-05-04T12:03:00.000+10:00

Feel free to post your own :)
I thought this one was good:

One day, a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom. The Teacher was explaining evolution to the children. The Teacher asked a little boy:

TEACHER: Tommy do you see the tree outside?

TOMMY: Yes.

TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?

TOMMY: Yes.

TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.

TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.

TEACHER: Did you see GOD?

TOMMY: No.

TEACHER: That's my point. We can't see GOD because HE isn't there. HE just doesn't exist.

A little girl spoke up wanting to ask the boy some questions. The Teacher agreed.

LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?

TOMMY: Yes.

LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?

TOMMY: Yessssss!

LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?

TOMMY: Yessssss!

LITTLE GIRL; Tommy, do you see the Teacher?

TOMMY: Yes

LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?

TOMMY: No

LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we were taught today, she doesn't have one...

Well...

2006-04-28T16:11:00.000+10:00

Hey everyone! Guess what!

I GOT THE JOB!!!

I will be teaching Year 8, 9 and 10 English, Year 9 Christian Education and two Sport classes at the very same Secondary School that I went to myself! I'M RAPT!

I went for the interview early last week, which went really well, and I was just starting to get a little sad at the thought that yet another interview was unsuccesful, when I received a phone message on my mobile from the head of the Senior School. I rang him back and he told me that my application was succesful! I'm going to be a real teacher! Continuity, setting work, essays, marking, professional discussion - it's all waiting for me! I'm looking forward to saying goodbye to glorified babysitting (emergency teaching). I begin on 20th May, which is quite soon, so I'll be in at my new school (old school?) in the intermediary to work out a smooth hand over of the classes (it'll be a mid-year swap) and to get a good grasp of where the kids are at and what I'll be doing with them. I'm a little scared of beginning full time work, and of having the responsibility for all of these classes, but I know that I learn best through experience (being thrown in the deep end). I'll thrash around for a bit, but I'll quickly learn to stay afloat, and then after a bit I'll be powering through.

Thankyou all for your support and encouragement - it has meant the world to me :)

Big Mumps, Small Notices

2006-04-24T16:56:00.000+10:00

I was driving through a roundabout today, and I noticed something that made me smile on the inside.

Someone had walked into the middle of this big, busy roundabout, and planted an upright 'Big M' (a flavoured milk drink carton, for you yanks) to the left hand side.
It sat with the 'M' peering slightly above the lush green grass. It was deliberate placement.

I wondered whether it was meant as an act of littering. Probably. But for me at that moment, I actually found something very aesthetically pleasing about it. I'm not quite sure I can put my finger on exactly what it was.

And that got me thinking. Because I'm appreciating that milk carton put in that spot, just for its aesthetics, does that make it art? Must art have a deeper meaning? Or can art be justified simply because it looks/sounds/feels/tastes/smells appealing?

My vote is a yes, and I am appreciative of the unintentional (?) artist that put a smile on my inside this afternoon.

The sight was even more ironic, because in the middle of this roundabout is a council-commissioned 'official' art piece that looks like a big, ridiculous green ribbon, or "apple peel" (for those who know it). The Big M was better :)

Confused...

2006-04-20T18:53:00.000+10:00

Something that really makes me laugh (and confuses the heck out of me) is the way people get really annoyed at the police for deploying speed cameras, saying that the police are 'revenue raising'.

Am I missing something here? People drive cars, right? And they can drive their cars at varying speeds... some cars can go really fast, some cars can't go so fast (like trucks, etc.). Also, depending on how fast you are driving, you have a varying possibility that you might have an accident. People who drive faster are more likely to have an accident (a generalisation of course), and most definately do more damage to whatever they hit (and themselves) when they do have an accident. Therefore, instead of people flying around the streets smashing into things all the time and killing lots of people, we have speed limits. So that people abide by these limits, there is a reasonable penalty for breaking them. If you don't break them, you don't get a penalty.

Here comes the clincher...

Therefore, if you get a speeding ticket IT'S YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT!!! For goodness' sake! If you don't want a fine, DON'T SPEED!!! Why are people so bleeding STUPID?!?! AARRGGHHH!!!!

On a funnier note, click here.

A-sumptuous! Look it up!

2006-04-18T16:42:00.000+10:00

Hey, I'm here. I really am. And posting. Just watch me go.

"I'm going this way!"

Oh, and I love you all like a collective brother :) Except my wife, whom I love like a collective wife. Collectively. I don't collect them though. Wives I mean.

I have some news to tell soon, but for now I shall leave you with Dboy's...

PROBLEM FOR THE DAY

If one ferret gave birth, and the other ferret in town didn't, then what would be the likely health status of the child ferret if both of these ferrets were the original parents?

Winner gets a big kiss.

Pics From The Vault

2006-04-03T18:10:00.000+10:00

Me manning a Vietnamese War artillery... in Vietnam... during the war... just kidding.

A guy with his head up another guy's butt.

Peebody and I on his last birthday.

My brother and me being idiots.

Little Buddha

2006-03-30T15:35:00.000+11:00

I've wanted to post on this for a while, but I've kept musing on it until I could figure out what my actual thoughts are.

I've been working as a Casual Relief Teacher in a Special School for the past term (as well as another mainstream highschool), and my experience there has been invaluable.

I walked in on my first day as green as it gets, nervous about the kind of student I would be working with (I've heard many stories from my wife who is a Speech Pathologist working in education and my brother who is an integration aide in a Specialist School - one step lower functioning than my school) and wondering about my purpose in such a place. I quickly came to realise in my first hour that children with autism are not at all scary (at least the ones I am working with), even when they are throwing things around the room in a tantrum, picking their nose until it bleeds, smacking themselves in the face, squeezing the crap out of another autistic child (pinching) or even screeching at you at the loudest decibel level they can muster.
I also quickly cam to realise that children with special needs can be as, if not more, adorable than 'normal' children. Each child has such a unique personality.

On my second day there, I met the child that has been my favourite (even though we're not supposed to have fovourites - it's impossible not to) ever since. I love this kid - he is absolutely adorable.

Let me paint you a picture:
A rotund Asian boy squats in his chair, peering down at a puzzle beneath his eyes. His eyes are a little too slanted, and upon further inspection I can see that he has actually fallen asleep again (succumbing to his narcoleptic condition). I walk over to him and kneel beside him.
"Wake up, Wei Yin!" I whisper with a smile, gently nudging him behind his left shoulder. "Look! Let's do your puzzle!"
His eyes open gradually, and without a smile he looks at me in acknowledgement. I hand him a piece from his childrens' puzzle.
"Where does this one go?"
He scrutinizes the puzzle board, and can't quite decide on the right spot for the truck-shaped puzzle piece he now has in his hand. He drops the puzzle piece on the board, reaches over to me and forcibly places my hand over the puzzle piece.
He looks at me. I know what he's trying to do, but I play dumb - I want him to do it. He picks up my hand and drops it on the piece again. I pick it up and put it back in his chubby, olive fingers.
"Come on, Wei Yin. You're clever, I know you can do this."
He grips the piece, looks at the board and spots the right slot in less than a second, his hand pushing towards it without a thought. He struggles with the exact positioning for a moment and then slides the piece cleanly in.
I give him a huge grin.
"You. Are. Wonderful! Well done Wei Yin!!!"
My joy spills out into my arms and give his shoulders a congratulatory squeeze as my face and words convey my pleasure in his work.
His face lights up. Where once there was a look of casual contentment, now there blooms a huge smile. His huge chubby smile beams up at me, and then he grabs my head either side with both of his hands. He pulls my head closer and closer to his own, until they are touching, and he holds me there, beaming with joy, looking at my eyes.
For the rest of the day, we were best of pals. He continually amazed me with how smart he is. He can't talk, he manages to fall asleep while walking around a basketball court and he tries to get everyone else to do everything for him, but knows his way around Windows XP as well as anyone I've ever known. He can spell. He can write. He listens and understands everything you say to him. And he still remembers who I am whenever we see him in the playground.

This kid is one of the most special kids I've ever has the pleasure of teaching, and this school has so many just as special kids who are special in their own completely unique ways. I hope I can have the opportunity to encourage kids like that all the way through my life.

I think this is the primary reason why I teach. I love to make people feel good about themselves. I love it. And I seem to be able to do it best with kids. I want people to be able to feel like they can do things, and that their worth is immeasurable. I think I've just defined my life's mission statement.

Do I Keep It?

2006-03-20T10:49:00.000+11:00

Do I keep this facial hair style? Chrystal thinks I look creepy. I reckon a change would be nice, but I'm not sure what to do. Suggestions?

Update-a-thon! ('A-thon'?? What is that?)

2006-03-18T00:42:00.000+11:00

Ok, I'm gonna post some stuff about stuff, so get ready.

A few Saturdays ago, we had Matt's Bucks Day. It was fantastic! We began the day with a trip to the local waterskiing club, where Matt's then-future-father-in-law and family friend drove us up and down the river for hours and hours. Personally, I got up on my first attempt, but just couldn't manage to hold it for more than about 5 seconds. It was surprisingly hard to keep your balance I found, not sideways, but forwards and backwards. The rope would get slack and you would fall either forwards (and get a face full of water) or backwards, either way ending your joyous skid-fest in a barrage of water, filling your every orifice.

Matt was a pro, and this is what he would've looked like if he had a moustache.

After waterskiing, we went into Lygon Street for dinner (a place synonymous with Italian dining, for those who live outside Melbourne), and had some very authentic pizzas at a place called La Spaghetteria.

From there we went further into the city to an Irish pub called The Irish Times for a stout or two (suggested by Alex Marriot). It was an awesome little bar with a really nice atmosphere, and we found a booth and drank to Matt's marriage.

Then we moved on to a place called the European Bier Cafe, where I was able to order my favourite beer in the world (a Belgian beer called Hoegaarden White). Here we partied the night away, dancing like nutters to the tunes of a cover band (man, they played some great songs) and fully going mental. Matt really got into it, dancing and singing along with the rest of us :)

Skip a couple of weeks along (to March 4th), and then we have Matt and Kathryn's wedding. What a special day. I was honoured to be the best man, and apart from almost getting the groom run over by a train, I think I did ok. The above photo is all I have of the wedding so far (c/o Guru's site - he's editing the wedding), because the camera is at my in-laws' at the moment, but it was such an amazing time).
Memorable moments:
- standing at the altar next to Matt (the same altar where I was married two years ago) and watching his beautiful bride walk down the aisle.
- listening to Andrea sing incredibly during the signing of the register (what an incredible voice - you could have recorded it and sold millions).
- delivering as many sandwiches/drinks/cakes into the hands of my charge (ie. the groom) in the afternoon tea as he mingled with congratulators.
- posing for an awesome photo where we mimicked a car breakdown (Kathryn was told to look annoyed and we all watched on as Matt had his sleeves rolled up, trying to fiddle with the engine of a beautiful antique car).
- going crazy on the dancefloor with a quality crowd.

All in all, an absolutely wonderful time.

A few days ago, me and my family went to the final dress rehearsal of the Commonwealth Games (yep, they're being held in Melbourne for those who've never heard). It was, in a word, BORING. If we didn't get free tickets, we wouldn't have gone, and if we knew it was going to be so tedious, we probably wouldn't have gone either. It was kind of a poor man's Olympics really: a situation where the budget really wasn't that big (and you could tell), and you probably wouldn't have wanted the budget to be bigger because there's better things for a nation to spend their money on. The highlight, other than having some lovely together time with my family, was a bunch of people skating around with oversized sparklers on. Otherwise it was cold.

We had a LAN last Wednesday! It was awesome, running from 9am to 11pm the same night. The venue was perfect, the crowd were enthusiastic, the computers ran without a hitch (as usual).
On the left here we have Marcus (rear - Mr. Sven) and Will (front - loves his sniper). On the right we have Caitlin (rear - that's right, a girl! very quick to pick everything up, you should be proud, Revhead) and Josh (middle - also Revhead's offspring, also very quick to pick everything up), and then Neale (front - my brother in law :)).
This is a pic of almost everyone. The total other attendees were: Mic (my bro), Brent (other brother in law), Michael, Guru, Carl, James and Sam popped in for a bit too.

In other news:

- I had a job offer, which was then retracted, and it makes me a bit sad to think about it.
- I took my youngest bro-in-law out for a Tim-Tam iced chocolate the other day (mmmmm....) and we spent about an hour walking around the toy section of Target pressing every button we could find (he's so funny).
- I played the World of Warcraft boardgame with Guru, King Kohl, Josh, Casey and another guy the other day - best board game ever.
- can't wait for the school term to start back again so I can start working! I'm doing CRT (Casual Relief Teaching) for a few of the schools around my area, which I really enjoy doing.

Over and out.

Hahahaha!

2006-02-28T14:49:00.000+11:00

Check it out! Go here and click 'Watch This Movie'!

Credit goes to Film Guru for showing it to me a while ago. Do you remember the history on this one, Guru?

Ode to Dboy

2006-02-17T21:02:00.000+11:00

This is the first poem I ever received from a friend of mine, Matt Baker. He wrote it about 3 years ago, and I still have the origianl paper it was written on. It's awesome:

Give me the show
So I might give
It a go
Don't get low
Just mow.

Gummy

In Year 10 we used to have 'warm and fuzzies', where we had a pocket each with our names on them, and then during the week you could write something nice about someone and then stick it in their pocket for them to read. This is one I received from Peebody (we've known each other since Grade 1):

Eey can spel th wordds thaT ar good.

It still gives me goosebumps.

Proof for the Existence of God

2006-02-10T14:04:00.000+11:00

Peebody has raised a wonderful discussion topic that deserves a post all of its own, as well as raising some interesting questions about divine creation.

As a prelude, I'd love to say that my experience in studying Philosophy at uni has provided me with a wonderful foundation for my belief in God, and Jesus Christ as the Son of God. My underlying attitude is one that says the most logical answer wins - if someone could provide sound evidence that God doesn not exist, then I would concede the point in a moment and my beliefs would change to suit.

What my major in Philosophy did for me, was it taught me that Christianity is actually the most philosophically sound conclusion. I love what I believe because it is the most defendable position that there is: it has provided answers where there are none with anything else, it has survived the philosophical scrutiny of every one of my peers/lecturers/tutors at uni, and it has an answer to every question thrown at it.

Ok, onto the content. People, this is your thread. For those who believe, this is an opportunity to provide evidence for your convictions. For those who are searching, this is an opportunity to ask any question you wish to put out there.

Have a ball!

My Kind of Logic

2006-02-07T23:31:00.000+11:00

Love this. It's taken from a book called 'A Ready Defense' by Josh McDowell, and he's quoting a guy called Charles Wesley.

The Bible must be either the invention of good men or angels, bad men or demons, or of God. Therefore:

1. It could not be the invention of good men or angels, for they neither could nor would make a book, and tell lies all the time they were writing it, saying, "Thus saith the Lord" when it was their own invention.

2. It could not be an invention of bad men or devils, for they would not make a book that commands all duty, forbids all sin, and condemns their souls to hell to all eternity.

3. Therefore, I draw this conclusion, that the Bible must be given by divine inspiration.

Thoughts?

Update

2006-01-30T12:06:00.000+11:00

Well, I think I'm well overdue for an update.

I didn't get the job - got a letter in the mail. I rang my interviewer (he was a really nice guy) to ask him for some tips on what I can improve on, and he said that I was 'pipped at the post' by a person with a bit more experience, and that if the job was a year position, then he probably would have taken me (he needed someone for the position who could just walk in, do the job and then fly off - because I'm a graduate, I would have just been finding my feet as a teacher and then I would've had to leave). He encouraged me though, saying to persevere because I was as keen as mustard. It was a nice conversation, but I guess I still have to make the decision to keep my spirits up.

I ebb and flow with that one - some days I'm incredibly passionate and motivated to keep searching, and then other days I get a bit down, and I have to tell myself not to be like that. It's a bit of a tough road, butI am convinced that God has it all under control - he's taking me on the best road, even if it seems a little difficult at times.

Chrystal and I went on a lovely holiday up the coast to Nambour (2hrs north of Brisbane). We drove, seeing Sydney on the way up (that place drove me nuts - you just CANNOT turn right. Anywhere. You have to do a 'Zoolander' and make three left hand turns to turn right) and Brisbane too. Brisbane was lovely - really nice place. We drove through the city on a late Saturday morning, and it was so quiet. We stopped there and saw The Chronicles of Narnia on an IMAX screen for $5 too. Bargain.

We went to Nimbin on the way back (hippie/commune/drug capital of Australia) just to see what it was like too. About 80 seconds from exiting the car, we walked across a pentagram with was painted on the footpath, and were offered drugs twice by two aboriginal people almost directly outside the police station. Crazy place. A little bit after that we started to feel a bit uncomfortable as it seemed like we were getting weird looks from all the locals who were hanging around. The one old, shaggy guy who looked like he was a bit desperate started following us as we made our way back to the car. We were a little shaken. Haha... one of the shops there was called 'Bringabong', and another shop had the subtitle 'We are not criminals' - I wonder why they felt the need to point that out... hang on, I actually don't wonder at all.

All in all a very relaxing, warm holiday.

Now we're back, Chrystal is at her new job, getting settled in, and I'm at home doing odd jobs (like beating compensation out of our home insurance company, as we were robbed a couple of days after we got back) , looking for jobs and waiting to be called for emergency teaching work.

Well done if you got this far :)

A Post

2006-01-25T20:24:00.000+11:00

This is for Cray-z, who said she was bored in another country because of me not posting. I wrote you a poem, Cray-z.

Higgeldy piggedly, figgeldy fish,
Higgeldy piggedly, he broke I'm dish,
Higgeldy piggeldy, smamagon nash,
Smamagon smamagon, strapped for cash.

You like it?

I'll update on job and other life stuff soon. Missed you all :)

Racism

2005-12-14T10:44:00.000+11:00

Something I find interesting about all the news about 'racism' in Australia that everyone throws the word about without actually having a decent definition of its meaning. This is because I think there is a difference between racism and commenting generally on a social group's characteristics.

For example, people from a Middle Eastern background generally respect their women less than people of a caucasian background. It is not any more racist for me to say that than to say that British people mainly speak the English language. The fact is that there are certain characteristics assossiated with certain societal groups, and pointing these out is not racism.

So what is racism then? Does someone want to start the discussion off?

EDIT: Try not to use any dictionary references until we have had a good discussion about it :)

Interstellar Interview!

2005-12-13T10:23:00.000+11:00

I think the interview was a hit! Praise God! Everything that I prayed for happened (of course - I've got no reason to expect anything different): I was articulate, wasn't stumped by any of the questions, engaged the interviewer in a good discussion, and had a fun time! My interviewer kept saying "Good answer" after almost everything I said, so I think that's a good sign. Plus all of my experience actually makes me ideal for the job, and my teaching philosophy is practically identical to the school's! Hooray!!!

This is me before the interview. Go get 'em!

Woooo!

2005-12-12T22:40:00.000+11:00

Chrystal, my wonderful wife, got a job today! YAY! She'll be working as a Speech Pathologist at Tintern Girl's Grammar (which is a private school in Ringwood), which will be a lovely place to work, and also cut her travelling time down by an hour every day!

In other awesome news, I have an interview at Eltham College tomorrow morning, and it looks extremely promising! I would love to work at Eltham College. Pray for me at 9am if you can!

Chrystal's Song

2005-12-08T19:27:00.000+11:00

Not many know, I think, that the song Chrystal sang last Sunday after her talk at church, was actually written by her! She wrote the melody and the lyrics one time, just cos she felt like it, and then took it to Megan who added chords and a harmony.

For those who weren't there, Chrystal preached up a storm, establishing that righteousness is something God gives freely to everyone who believes in Jesus ("This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe." - Romans 3:22). Therefore, if you have faith in Christ, there is no person who is more righteous than another person, and there is no way for you to become more righteous by doing works - you are absolutely blameless and in total right standing with God.

After giving the talk, she sang this song:

Like a child I come,
Into your arms
of grace and mercy,

I want to know your touch,
I reach out to you,
and I know you’ll meet me

In my time of trial,
I’ll call out your name,
and I know you’ll hear me,

I rest in your vast love,
Eternal, unchanging God

Chorus
You are the light of my life,
I will bless you Lord,

You are the strength of my soul,
I will give my all

Never let me go

I was proud as punch - never knew she could write such an awesome song. Well done to you too, Tink.

Contradict Myself

2005-12-06T22:10:00.000+11:00

Just because I don't, doesn't mean that anyone else can.

Micro Church Guys' Wine Night Bonanza!

2005-11-30T23:31:00.000+11:00

Had a fantastic night last Friday night with the micro church lads - we had a boys' night with a wine theme. We all brought a bottle of wine with the label covered, and spent the night going through each of the bottles to try and figure out what grape type the wine was, where it was from and what year it was, you know, made (bottled).

Laughter probably characterised the night, with much antics and frivolity being the instigatory element in causing the said... laughter (if I can get a bit David McGahan on you for a second). Dan with his 'Dove of Peace' rendition, Andrew with his smart alec mutterings, Mark with his tales of... well, I won't repeat what the tales were of (he might get embarrassed), Doug with his professional palate, and me just being random and ridiculous.

This is us on the left. For those who don't know, (from left to right) it's Dan Baldwin, some drunken badger from Smoit, Andrew McKenzie, and Mark Tucci. Doug Andrews came later on in the night, after getting off a plane from Brisbane at about 8pm (he came straight over - now that's commitment).

Mmmmm.... Shiraz.

HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-11-17T21:45:00.000+11:00

I JUST HANDED IN MY LAST ASSIGNMENT FOR THE WHOLE YEAR!!! I DON'T HAVE TO STUDY ANY MORE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!

BBBAAAAAHAHAHAAAAARRRRGHLLLLAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPHLEEEEEEEEE!!!

Hehehe...

2005-11-14T00:32:00.000+11:00

"Its just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. Then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?"

?

2005-11-07T18:27:00.000+11:00

Do you ever feel like everyone else knows something that you dont? Ever feel like everyone else is normal, and you're different in some weird way that you can't see, but people are just too nice to say anything? Do you ever feel like there's something that you do that nobody else does that sets you apart, but you, not being able to have a third person look at yourself, aren't able to find what it is?

I feel like that sometimes...

Mmmm.... Something...

2005-11-07T11:39:00.000+11:00

All In Brawl!

2005-11-03T12:41:00.000+11:00

I'm calling an online Blog Brawl!

THE RULES:

Type your action in between asterisks.
No swearing.
The use of outside objects is only limited to your imagination.
The recipient of an action must react vocally in some way (eg. shout 'ouch!' or something funnier).
Other rules I will make up as I go along.

*pulls Guru's nostril hairs*

Things To Do To Freak People Out

2005-10-31T12:32:00.000+11:00

Legendary Puffin commented in the last post that her sister used to drive around with a tissue stuck up her nose to creep people out. This made me laugh and started me thinking: I'm sure there's quite a few things that we could do for a similar effect. We are a people, in this blog community, of incredible latarel intellect, and I think that we could put our heads together and come up with some rippers.

Here's my starting contribution: put the cheesiest smile on your face (ie. showing the most amount of teeth), and walk around all day looking at random people.

"I think that all things, in their way, reflect heavenly truth, the imagination not the least." (C.S. Lewis, Surprised By Joy)

Funny Clip of the Week

I Just Have To Share This With The World

2005-10-29T10:23:00.000+10:00

I know it hasn't been that long since my last post, but I just had to show you this. It's one of the funniest things ever. I wish I knew those guys, it'd be great to hang out. Makes me realise that there are so many similarities between every culture in the human race: we're all people :)

Simpsons Quotes

2005-10-28T21:17:00.000+10:00

Now normally I think The Simpsons is good, but not as good as other stuff - I've never been able to see it as one of those cool cult cartoons (like Futurama or Family Guy), mainly I think because there's not a soul on earth who hasn't seen every single episode.

However, I watched one I hadn't seen yet tonight (I think it was a new one - for Aus anyway), and it had the best quote I've ever heard on The Simpsons ever. It's Principal Skinner saying:

"I've been taken down a peg! A whole peg!"

I laughed for so long. And so loud. A "whole peg". AHAHAHAAAahahaaaa......

What's your favourite Simpsons quote?

I Just Thought Of the Coolest Name

2005-10-27T10:48:00.000+10:00

And this is it:

FREREMIAH FRIAR!!!

I don't care what Chrystal says; that's gonna be the name of my future firstborn! No matter what sex!

The Good Ol' Days

2005-10-24T23:27:00.000+10:00

I came across this while reading C.S. Lewis' autobiography, Surprised By Joy (Peebody and a couple of other guys gave it to me for my 21st birthday):

"The deadly power of rushing about wherever I pleased had not yet been given to me. I measured distances by the standard of a man, man walking on his own two feet, not by the standard of the internal combustion engine. I had not been allowed to deflower the very idea of distance; in return I possessed "infinite riches" to what would have been to motorists "a little room". The truest and most horrible claim made for modern transport is that it "annihilates space". It does. It annihilates one of the most glorious gifts we have been given. It is a vile inflation that lowers the value of distance, so that a modern boy travels a hundred miles with less sense of liberation and pilgrimage and adventure than his grandfather got from travelling ten."

I think I agree: while mass transit has had many positive effects on supply and trade, the damage to our society and group identity has been amazing. Sometimes I wish I could know the people around me very, very well and everyone else not at all - or have the people around me that I know very well.

My Phone Broke

2005-10-23T19:48:00.000+10:00

:(

My phone broke today - fell on the floor. Screen doesn't work. Murp - how annoying. I might try and get it fixed, depending on how much it costs.

Dumb Jokes!

2005-10-18T23:06:00.000+10:00

Hey, I know I haven't been about for a bit, but life is kind've taking priority at the moment: lesson plans + applying for jobs + everything else I normally do = a stressed and busy Danny (that's about as good as maths as I ever plan to get).

I had to start this thread though, because of a conversation Kohl and I had at school today.

I love dumb jokes! For some reason, dumb jokes are even funnier than jokes that are really funny. This has to be my favourite of all time:

Q: What's purple and hums?
A: An electric plum!

Here's another one:

Q: Why did the kid fall off his bike?
A: Cos someone threw a fridge at him!

AARRGGHAHAHAHA! You guys got any more?

This one's for Chickenhead

2005-10-13T18:42:00.000+10:00

I found this while looking at a few blogs. Hehehe...

What A Great Lesson...

2005-10-13T11:03:00.000+10:00

I just had a fantastic lesson teaching Year 10 kids on the character of gollum:

First we had a discussion about Gollum's history: the fact that he used to be a Hobbit, where he got his precious from, how he lost it to Bilbo, and how he came to be living in the middle of a lake underneath the mountains.

Then I read the bit in The Hobbit where it describes Gollum, and got them to do a vague sketch of what they think he should look like (trying to give their own interpretation rather than rely on what they've seen from the movie). Then I showed them parts of "The Taming of Smeagol", which is an extra in The Two Towers Special Edition which outlines how they conceptualised Gollum visually and audibly (Andy Serkis is a legend).

Then we watched excerpts from Lord of the Rings that featured Gollum, including his introduction, his capture by Frodo and Sam, compassion from Frodo and suspicion from Sam, Gollum/Smeagol's conversation with himself where Smeagol tells Gollum to "Go away and never come back!", and the bit where Smeagol thinks that Frodo has betrayed him, and so he welcomes back Gollum into himself. The kids were typing furiously, taking notes on every little thing. They lapped it up :)

Then we listen to the song "Gollum's Song", sung by Emiliana Torrini (on the special edition version). If you don't know it or cant remember, it is this amazing dirge sung in this waily, creepy voice, which talks about everything that has happened to Gollum from his perspective. It set the perfect mood: so, so, so sad.

Then I got the kids to write a newspaper report on "The Tragedy of Gollum", while I left the song playing in the background. It was a really incredible atmosphere.

Hooray!

L33t Interweb Abbreviations!

2005-10-12T09:34:00.000+10:00

Let's name all our favourites! I'll start us off:

gtg: got to go
brb: be right back
afk: away from keyboard
gg: good game
gj: good job

My New Favourite Smiley!

2005-10-10T20:45:00.000+10:00

Here it is:

{:-)

I made it up! Yay!

My Teaching Philosophy

2005-10-09T14:34:00.000+10:00

I had to write it down for my CV - I'm glad I did, cos I like it. Check it out:

I strongly believe that having the right learning climate in the classroom is the most important aspect of teaching; when students feel encouraged, accepted, capable and inspired they will produce their best work. I believe that in order to achieve these goals, the students must see the teacher as an ally in their learning experience. I believe that the relationship between teacher and student is the most critical component to good learning – when a teacher has their students’ respect and admiration, the content that the teacher wishes to deliver will always fall on good soil.

I Need a Break... OUCH! Not That Kind!

2005-10-07T15:30:00.000+10:00

I've been working Trojan-like over the past week for my placement at Donvale, and I'm feeling pooped to the dickens. I've got quite a few lesson plans to do, and considering I'm teaching The Hobbit to my Year 10's, I can't help but plan awesomely fun, but very very detailed, lesson plans so they get the most out of it (I'm bringing in excerpts from the LotR trilogy to show how people have represeted Gollum, and a bit of his background - coolest character ever). Combine this stuff with the fact that I'm giving a message and doing a drama for '5 - 2 - 9' (youth program at church) and a vox pop segment for the night service at church on Sunday, and you have a very busy, tired Danny. I'm feeling good about it though, I think I can pull it off, and it'll be over soon. My wife has been the best chick in the world too, supporting me by making dinner, cleaning dishes and making me lunch; I have to be the luckiest guy in the world.

Kep reading, it gets more interesting.

On top of all this stuff, I discovered recently from my doctor that I broke my rib a little while back. This is the story: I was wrestling with Chrystal one day (about 3 months ago) and I twisted myself in a weird way and heard an audible 'SNAP' from my chest. Pretty intense pain followed. For the next months after that, I had the worst sleep (lying down was painful, getting up even more so), hated changing from 3rd to 2nd in the manual car (the angle made things hurt), but couldn't be bothered to go to the doctor to get it checked out. My theory was "Ah well, what's the doctor gonna do? You can't exactly plaster it up".
Anyway, it got better after about a month. Then I went to a Grand Final thingy at Dan Hoyne, Matt Baker and Glen Jessop's place, and we all had a kick of the footy at a nearby park. Bad move. I ended up on the second-bottom of a stacks on (very fun, mind you), and came back up again with a very painful side.
I got quite sick of it after that, so I did go to see the doctor, and they gave me my previously predicted response of "Can't do much. Sorry.", but they did tell me that the rib was actually broken.

So there you go, now I know what a broken rib feels like. I can tick that box in my list of 'life experiences'. I'm looking forward to another kind of break in about two weeks...

Lyrics Game!

2005-10-03T21:45:00.000+10:00

Ok, in this game, someone has to give lyrics to a song (try not to make it too obscure) and everyone else has to guess which song and what band. The right guesser can then give lyrics of their own for other to guess! Hints can be given if people are struggling.

I'll start us off:

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel like my only friend
Is the city I live in
The city of angels...

Sorry, My Fault

2005-09-28T18:05:00.000+10:00

Ludy's presence is my fault. Dboy was in the process of inviting me to be a contributor to his blog when I accepted it...while signed in as my sister. Now she runs rampant and threatens to eat our children and paint our husbands a suspect pink-ish colour.

Anywho, I am now a contributor to this blog. I won't pop up too often, opting to use my own blog and prevent flooding Dboy's, but when I do you can be sure there will be more topless women on motorcycles.

Roll Film!

I'M BACK!

2005-09-28T15:31:00.000+10:00

That's right! It's me! Ludicrousity again! You will never be rid of me! Mwahahahahahahaha!

Problem For the Day

2005-09-27T23:05:00.000+10:00

I remember in high school I used to grab people's diaries and write in specific days a "Problem For the Day". They were so much fun, and I haven't done any since. So I'm doing one now. 'Since' is nullified!

Here it is:

If five camels gave birth to as many calves as they could within a five week period, how much fluid is released in their collective water breakingses, given that five galleons of mucous weighs the same as one camel calf?

Favourite Computer Game of All Time!

2005-09-26T07:40:00.000+10:00

What is everyone's fav pc/console game of all time?

It doesn't have to be your current favourite (if you still play them): try and remember the game you had the most fun playing.

There's so many to choose from with me: Mortal Kombat, Deus Ex, Neverwinter Nights, Seven Kingdoms, Starcraft, Shining Force 2, Condition Zero, Battle for Middle Earth...

But it would have to come down to these two games (so it'll be a dual crowning): Landstalker on the Sega Megadrive, and Warcraft 3.

I remember hiring Landstalker from the video shop for the first time. I couldn't get past the first bit and I thought it was crap. Then I hired it again when I was a little bit older and couldn't stop playing it for a week. I still didn't finish it, so then I hired it and played it every day and night for another week until I did finish it. It was soooooooo much fun.

I wouldn't say that the normal game of Warcraft 3 is that good. It provides a little bit of fun I suppose. The real fun in this game is playing the custom modified maps multiplayer. In these maps you join a team, choose a hero and then your team of heroes battles it out against another team of heroes. The fun that this has brought, especially when you are playing against people you know, has just been amazing. I think that because of these cool maps, Warcraft 3 is probably the most long-lived game I know of.

So.... what about you guys?

Kohl-tributor?

2005-09-23T09:16:00.000+10:00

Hmmm... so you wanna be a contrivutor to this blog, hey Kohl?

Problem is, I've had bad experience (or maybe just one bad experience) with people I've invited to contribute to my site in the past, including slander and mutiny. One would not blame me if I were a little bit wary.

Submit your Statement of Contention.
And answer this question: "What can you bring to this blog?"

What Are We All Reading At The Moment?

2005-09-21T13:37:00.000+10:00

I'm stuck into both Ezekiel (on my way through the Bible) and C.S. Lewis' autobiography "Surprised By Joy".

Ezekiel is something like the fourth 'doom and gloom' prophet I've read in a row, so I should probably mix it up a bit so that it becomes different from everything else, and "Surprised By Joy" is really fun. C.S. Lewis describes things in a really deep way with beautiful language.

Brent Has A Blog!!!

2005-09-18T22:26:00.000+10:00

Get out!

No way!

Yes way!

Brent has just posed on this site, and used his secret name that links to a site! He has been keeping this from us since August!

AUGUST!

The cheek!

His reasons for such are thus (as found on his site):

since it seems a whole lot of people may be about to stumble upon my secret blog, let me explain in advance that i have only used this for uni and there is nothing interesting going on here apart from me talking about arty-uni-stuff so go back to reading danny's blog or something or if you stick around don't come crying to me, 'breeent, this is boooring", breeeent, do something fuuuuun", "breeeent, let me out of the cupboard i'm claustrophobic". you big sook!

I noticed right away that he doesn't use capitals at the start of sentences, and because his titles "aren't working" *cough*, it makes the whole site look a little haphazard. But then again, that's beautifully Brent.

Here it is!:
http://ifni.blogspot.com/

Ergh

2005-09-15T13:03:00.000+10:00

The reason for my latest lack of attendance has to do with more than just uni - pc games are sapping my energy and time again, and it makes me angry at myself. I tried to say that I wouldn't play games for a week, but I don't have that much self discipline, so I've frustrated my plans to ruin my life through computer games by deleting them all!

That'll learn me! Suck eggs, Dboy!

So Annoying!

2005-09-02T09:27:00.000+10:00

I think one of the things that annoys me most in the Australian spoken version of the English language, is the constant mispronunciation of the letter 'H'.

So many people think that the letter 'H' has to have a "h" sound in it, but in actual fact the letter in pronounced 'aytch', and not 'haytch'. I'd like to meet the dufus who first thought "Derrrr... letter 'H' make no sense... I put 'h' sound in da front of it!"

Check it out in the dictionary if you like!

Battleground vs. Playground

2005-08-25T10:56:00.000+10:00

Martin (therevhead) showed us this quote at a Spiritual Warfare workshop a little while ago. I love it:

People, our parents held, had to choose sides; they could not be neutral.
For them it must be life or death, heaven or hell, and if they chose to come
on God's side, they could expect open war with God's enemies. The fight
would be real and deadly and would last as long as life continues below.
Men looked forward to heaven as a return from the wars, a laying down of the
sword to enjoy the home prepared for them.

How different today; Men think of the world as a playground not a
battleground. We are here not to fight but to have fun. We are not in a
foreign land we are at home. We are not getting ready to live, but we are
living already. And the best we can do is rid ourselves of our inhibitions
and our frustrations and enjoy life here.
- AW Tozer

Computer Games

2005-08-23T07:56:00.000+10:00

I was lying in bed this morning (it was 7.15 and I was awake because I'd gone to bed at 9pm last night - nice...) and I was hiding under my covers from the outside world, thinking how wonderful it is to be safe for at least the net hour or so until I had to get up, and I starting dwelling upon the fact that all I really wanted to do for the rest of the day was sleep in and play computer games. I also know, however, that I need to do other stuff, like go to uni, get my window fixed on my car, do uni homework, ring a bundle of people about stuff and other stuff. The desire to run away from it all and play computer games was intense though, and I knew that I had to do something about it.

Reluctantly (very, very reluctantly), I said "God, please take this burning passion to play computer games and turn it into something productive." I hated saying that. Because I didn't want my desire to change into something productive. How logical is that?

Then I pondered; "God, why is it that I like playing computer games so much?" What ensued was a very enlightening and confronting conversation. I'm not sure if I like the answers to that question just yet, or how it helps me deal with this better, but here they are:

I like gaming so much because in a gaming world, there is no pressure placed on me by outside entities. I can't let anyone down in a gaming world. Letting people down causes me anxiety. Anxiety is not a nice feeling for me.
I like gaming so much because I can see results for little effort.
I also like gaming so much because it is a challenge that I take on of my own desire; I'm not forced into this activity by anyone else or by any other circumstances.

Anyway, I'm playing a game called "Sacred" at the moment and it's really cool!

My Favourite Ad of All Time

2005-08-20T10:48:00.000+10:00

Check this out guys. This is easily my favourite ad of all time. I can't stop laughing when I watch it. And it's so quotably quotable!

A Short One

2005-08-18T12:10:00.000+10:00

Haheet! He is an slopey! Can drink cos it's teeth are brased on top with manchamangy!

My Blogging Experience

2005-08-17T11:42:00.000+10:00

I was just thinking about how cool it has been in this past while that we have been blogging. I think the best thing for me has been seeing different sides of of people I already knew. There's something about the written medium, in the context of a forum-like jigger, that is different to verbal communication.

These are the things I have enjoyed different people:

Megan - I guess it's funny, because in a way, I've come to actually know you properly through this. Before I would have said that we were more acquaintances, but now I would consider you a friend. You are a clever, deep and caring person, and it to you I owe the thanks for introducing me to blogger in the first place. Oooo, I forgot to say that you're talented :)

Pavlos - Wow, I've known you for how many years? About 17 I think. And I have never seen you be so witty. Don't get me wrong, you've always been very funny, but in this time, and with this medium, you've shown a real talent for using the written word to make me laugh, and to make me think. I'm impressed by your ability to write too. For a bloke who didn't do Yr 12, I think you would find the transition to Uni study a breeze (if that's ever where you want to head).

King Kohl - Hehe... I've always known you to be the craziest kid in town, but here you've shown that you have the intelligence and understanding of your dad. You are a switched-on kid, Matty B. God's gonna do awesome stuff with your sharp mind.

Andrew - Actually, nothing surprised me here. I don't know whether that's if I know Andrew so well, or because of... I don't know what else, but... Hang on! I just thought of something that I wasn't expecting: you think up very funny and interesting titles for blog posts. Hehehe.... 1000 posts? Writing backwards? That's the best :) Otherwise though, you've been the deep, funny and random man I know you to be :) So random it's everywhere at everything I'm hungry!

Luke - you don't get a mention because you don't post on my site, and hardly ever on Megan's. So NNNNEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!! (even though technically you did just get a mention).

Revhead - Where have you gone? I'm impressed by three things with you on blogs. One: your ability to make up a story with very little material to go on; two: your knack for elaborating on something that someone else is saying, but then taking it to an all new level of obscurity and enjoyability (evil overlord??? that was your idea!); and three: the fact that a pastor of a big church takes the time to contribute to the bonding of an online community - I like your innovative intellect, I like your desire to see things differently, I like that your mind is always buzzing with new and interesting ideas.

If I've forgotten you, just post and I'll create one. These guys above are the main players (ie. the ones who post regularly on each others' sites), so they're the ones I thought of first :)

Kohl's Kritique :)

2005-08-15T20:33:00.000+10:00

I'll give you the honour of having the content of this post, Kohl. As a bit of background, I was asked to give a talk on loneliness at church last Sunday, and it was something that I could (and did) relate personally to. This is what Kohl had to say:

I've never heard you so serious. Maybe that just shows that I don't know you well enough.
But it was truly great. I saw it really hit home for many people, everyone was so attentive. Fergus just before had said how he was struggling with lonlyness, but you didn't just address the problem, explained the symptoms and encouraged self diagnoses with personal experiences (kudos for you for sharing btw) but you gave helpful hints for fixing the problems, both practical and spiritual
not that spiritual isn't practical... :P

As far as personal relevance goes, I believe you said that everyone struggles with lonelyness. Even Tink said on her blog recently "I'd be shocked if I could find someone who hadn't struggled with loneliness at some point in their life."
Not saying this purely to try and be better than you, or to be different, I seriously cannot think of a time when I have been lonely. There have been times when I've been bored, there have been times when I needed to ask someone a question but there had been no one, but they are hardly lonelyness. It probably has something to do with me being an introvert, and always being around my brother. I have a really close knit family and extended family and there has always been someone around, more often than not, someone around even when I didn't want them around. I can't recall ever feeling lonely at all, I suppose I struggle with the other extreme, I'm always trying to avoid people... but that's a different issue.

But I assume I'm a minority, I usually am. Like I said, I personally saw it hit home to many people. There was maybe one or two people who weren't listening avidly, and that's rare. Especially since one of those people was a baby.

Adventures!

2005-08-15T14:39:00.000+10:00

Chrystal and I went on one of our little adventures last Saturday night. It was great.

We got dressed up pretty and headed into the city, with the plan to have dinner somewhere and do whatever we felt like doing. First stop was Chinatown. We walked up through Little Bourke for a while pondering which restuarant to eat at, and half enjoying, half getting irritated at the people who stand out the front and hassle you to come inside, and Chrystal spotted a sign that said some kind of Japanese name with "Stonegrill" in the title. Only problem was it looked like it was in a food court. Chrystal persisted that we should check it out so we went in. It turned out to be this gorgeous Japanese-style place which had the best steak I've ever tasted. They served most of the food uncooked on these slabs of stone, and you actually get to cook the food yourself (because the stone is so hot) as you eat it. This means that every mouthful was perfectly done, hot and very tasty. It was quite a fun activity too :) The whole place was filled with this smokey coolness and the atmosphere was great. We both ordered one of those wacko Asian drinks too. Mine had beans in the bottom.

So after that we decided to check out movies. Madagascar was the only one that we really felt like seeing, but it wasn't on that late at the cinemas on Russel/Burke St., and we couldn't be bothered walking all the way to crown, so we waltzed around the city for a bit and just had a nice walk.

We thought we'd go for a drink, so we started heading down Southbank way, and I had a cool idea. I remembered when Chrystal's grandparents took us for dinner at the Sheraton Towers, and thought that that would be a nice place for desert wine and some nice sweet niblets. So we went along, but couldn't find it (I was sure I knew where it was). Anyway, after walking for a little bit, I decided to give up and go to a nice wine bar on Southbank, but Chrystal suggested we ask a porter at a nearby hotel to see if he knew where Sheraton Towers were. We walked up to the hotel and something was nagging me in the back of my mind about this hotel (I was sure I'd seen it before). We asked him and he tells us that this hotel used to be Sheraton Towers but had changed its name. Nice :) We walked in and had a beautiful crisp muscat and some Pistaccio gelati. There was this amazing guy playing piano there too - real chubby bloke, but he played with the feeling and grace of an artist. Everyone was clapping him, and it was a lovely place to be.

On the walk back we saw a group of Asian people singing worship songs at Flinders St Station. It was great - there was a whole lot of people watching them, and a couple of Aussie blokes were joining in with the fun (being really funny about it, but it was really inclusive and great to see).

All in all a gorgeous night. I love city adventures where you head into the city for a night and just see what happens and where you end up. The two places that we found though have made that adventure probably the most succesful that I've had :)

Well, that was fun...

2005-08-10T12:05:00.000+10:00

So yesterday. Bruce, your rebellion has ceased to amuse me any more, and so I have sent my innumerable imperial forces to your not-so-secret base and slaughtered every person in sight. If you've survived, you'll find that you can no longer create posts, and that your are no longer a contrubutor to my site. In addition, you are not a part of the Diabolical Brutishness Of Yondike any more (even though you thought up 1/4 of the name). You may reapply for subscription to this cult upon many episodes of foot kissing and low bowing (the kind with the hand twirls).

Ahhh... now, back to ME...!

Asserting My Position!

2005-08-06T18:56:00.000+10:00

Since Dboy has neglected his followers, I just thought I'd take this opportunity to assert my position at head honcho of this evil empire! You will all follow me!

Dancing... YEAH!

2005-08-04T13:02:00.000+10:00

Hahaha... I just came back from a period of dancing with Year 7 and 12 students and it was great!!! Everybody was having stacks of fun: laughing trying to get coordinated, laughing because we stuffed it up every two steps, laughing because people were falling over the ground, and then cheering when we finally got it right. It was such a good atmosphere in the class. I really got to know the students too, much better than I have teaching them English stuff (in a certain way and to a certain degree), and I think I've learned something really important.

Dancing is a fantastic way to dissolve barriers between people and create group friendship and solidarity. You are kinetically involved with people, looking people in the eye, solving a problem together, and, if the people involved have a good sense of humour and fun, you create a hilariously enjoyable place to be. Yay for dancing!

You've been uncovered!!!

2005-08-02T22:20:00.000+10:00

I have found your secret base!! I will wipe you out!!!!

Noooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

2005-08-01T17:49:00.000+10:00

WHAT?!!!! So much resistance to the resistance!!!! WHat's going on?! All I wanted to do was provide a regime that whilst still being evil, provided a valued place for all of my precious minions. I may have to retreat and take my place within the organisation rather than imposing myself on it. Ah Communism, you have failed me yet again...

Resist the Resistance!

2005-08-01T17:42:00.000+10:00

Ok, it is well known that our town is being occupied by the more-evil-than-Dboy Overlord Bruce, and that he/she is creating a stack of angst for the wise and sensitive Old-Evil-Overlord-but-now-devious-guerilla-warfare-mastermind-and-still-all-round-nice-guy Dboy!

Therefore, I have gone underground and am organising the resistance to the resistance. We are meeting at a secret place, and organising an uprising. It will be a slow and costly process - many of you may lose your lives - but soldier by soldier, we will drive the occupying tyrants out of our land and restore the shark infested cupboard!!!

Just send me an email, pledging yourself to the resistance, and I will assess your integrity and send you the secret meeting place coordinates. Power to the people!

(dannysymons@hotmail.com)

What is on offer!

2005-07-31T23:11:00.000+10:00

I can offer you a regime that while strict will allow the flexibility of seeing other express their talents and passions. I know that you all have quite a lot to offer this evil organisation.

Wandawanda, I love your peroxide blonde curls! You are a valuable asset to us.

Peebody, I am offering you the position of sole bell ringer. I trust you with all my bell ringing needs.

Revhead, you may eat all the cheeseburgers you wish, as long as you remain loyal to our hatred of the philosophy behind mcdonalds. I also am asking if you will become my chief advisor on all things mutinous.

Bizzle, you may be my right hand chicky. I need a woman's touch when deciding how to best influence my adversaries so I don't come across purely 'evil'. I need to disguise my true motives when dealing with adversaries.

Herr Doktor Kohl. You were a fence sitter, then turned against me. I am furious. You will soon suffer my wrath!

Dboy. There will always be a place for you here, but I demand that you bow to my authority. Together we will acheive global domination.

And... It was me who fixed this blog! I am taking all the credit! I'm sure you all realised it's been down for a day or two. Well I figured out how to fix it! Even more reason why you should all bow to me!!!!!

It's Fixed!!!

2005-07-31T23:10:00.000+10:00

Yay! My blog is fixed and it's all Megan's (Bruce's) fault! She/he told me to make another blog, copy the full html code out of it and paste it into my old one. I did, and miraculously, everything's still here!

I can stop moping around like the most hopeless kid in town now! Huzzah!

Peebody Got A Blog!

2005-07-30T17:27:00.000+10:00

Peebody has done a real nice blog! Check it out at

http://masterpeebody.blogspot.com/ (I dunno how to do that cool link one-clicky html code thing).

I'm so proud! My little minion has grown up and left the nest!

MUTANY!!!!!

2005-07-30T14:09:00.000+10:00

That's it!!! I'm taking over!!! Bruce has sat back long enough in her position of laughing stock disguised as security guard! I am taking you down oh dboy! I have stood in your shadow long enough! It is time for me to revel my true colous!!! I have sucessfully infiltrated your evil organisation and I am taking over from the inside out! WHO IS WITH ME? I will take over this world! Unlike the former leader dboy, I will actually do something about our goal of world domination. I AM INVINCIBLE!!!!
BEHOLD THE POWER OF BRUCE ALMIGHTY!

McDonaldses Are Our Key!!!

2005-07-28T22:50:00.000+10:00

I have come up with the most incredible of plans to infiltrate and overcome Western civilisation! We attack through the source of every person's sustainence: MCDONALDSES!!!

This is the plan:

Tactically speaking, what about wandawanda and Peebody assasinate Ronald and Grimace

ludicrosity can stay and taste that new flavour of yoghourt, 'passionfruit and bruiscuits' (it tastes like carpet)

therevkopf could stay here at the base and stop our arch-enemies simply walking in here and trying to persuade our secretary/security with gun to leave

legendarychipmunk can stay here as well and attempt to make as many more versus for our anthem as possible, we might have great need of them later

I will try and convince Jack the Hungary and King of Burgers to sign a pact.

Herr Doktor can work on a drug to infect people with Ephebiphobia so no-one will be able to step inside a McDonalds again.

Problem is, I don't know what Ephebiphobia is. I'm sure it will be ok considering I'm not the one who's going to need to know what it is.

I mean, I know everything and it's all part of my diabolical plan!!!

EVERYTHING!!!

NOTE: My third new thread in one day, in addition to numerous long posts.

My Discovery

2005-07-28T22:42:00.000+10:00

[A small break from the Evil Overlord bonanza for a moment]

I have just realised over the past couple of days that teaching is actually a very time consuming and difficult profession. Not that expected it to be easy, and not that I'm not good at it (glowing reports from both of my current supervisors :), but planning lessons, dealing with difficult kids and correcting a load of essays/homework can take up so much time!!! I was at work till 6pm this evening just writing half of what I had to prepare for the next day. Errgghhh... I'm stuffed. Tomorrow's gonna be even tougher.

At least I'm not bored :)

NOTE: I just wanted to draw attention to the fact that this is my second new thread for today for all of my critics. You can stop whingeing now - I've been posting from two to six times PER DAY for the past TWO WEEKS. Fed up!

The Crowning of the QUEEN... of storeroom 12b.

2005-07-28T10:01:00.000+10:00

Hear ye! Hear ye!

Verily now comes upon ye brethren a time when a monarch (of the storeroom 12b) must be decided upon. And in the verily wise counsel I hath received from my... very self, I hath decided to crown the mighty Bruce for this very occupation, ere this organisation become cleft in twain and torn asunder.

Therefore, make way for... (not) YOUR QUEEN (who you will not listen to in any manner).

*trumpets blaring*
*snare drum issuing a ceremonial 'rattatat'*
*electric guitar squeeling a lead solo*

The Master Plan

2005-07-27T15:26:00.000+10:00

Ok, our overall and diabolical end is to conceive a way of taking over the world and ruining the company of McDonalds.

Considering I am the overlord, it would seem as though it is up to me to contrive the Master Plan. However, I have watched that many TV shows that I know that it is always the sidekick who comes up with the plan and the Evil Overlord takes all the credit. Then the plan doesn't work and the Evil Overlord blames the sidekick, and makes them scoop up pigeon poo for a week (or some such).

So, come up with something that I can take credit for and then blame on you.