The Yondike Cult
Megan mentioned that I should start a cult, and call it the Yondike Cult. So I am.
I AM.
That will be the premise of this cult, I think, that Danny exists. That will also be the only required belief from my members. If you don't believe that I exist, then you can't enter my cult.
There are also rules, and these are such:
1. Thou shalt not dye your hair any colour other than what you want to colour it at the time of your colouring!
2. Thou shalt think! Twice per day! At least!
3. Thou shalt reade this funnie ye olde englishe withe 'e's alle overe the place e. E.
4. Thou shalt allow this list to be continued... after further revelations when I can think of other dumb stuff. I mean awesome dumb stuff. I mean stuff.
Now to go do some recruiting...
posted by Dboy @ Tuesday, May 24, 2005
39 Insightful Contributions
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39 Comments:
Im in sweet chunks.
HLS
yeah... sweet chunks of cultness
Yay! I'm officially in a cult! Oh I've waited all my life for this moment! I like to thank God. And my mum. I couldn't have done this without you!
*bursts into annoying tears*
Thank you to everyoen who supported along the way! I couldn't have done with without any of you! And if I've forgotten anyway, I want to now thank anyone that has ever lived.
I said you should call it the Yondike cult? I don't remember that bit, but ok.
I am having trouble deciphering which day is the most recent for comments that have been posted. Sooo I have chosen this day, as it seems suspiciously to correlate with today's date *raises eyebrow hinting conspiracy that doesn't exist*. I thought perhaps I might be able to shed some light on the issue of defining 'blog'. Hypothetically, I knew a young lad who, when he was very young, decided that the word 'poo' wasn't enough for these whacky zaney creations he realised he could achieve in the lavatory. He therefore chose to give it a new title, 'Blug'. Which is as you see, very close to 'Blog'.
On one particular occasion, I remember he was working on one such creation (I could tell he was working hard from the noises that were escaping from underneath the toilet door), when alllll of a sudden he let out a cry of frustration! This was followed shortly by "Ohhh, I think this Blug's got boots on!!". You can now understand why I was slightly disturbed when D-boy first sent me an email specifying the details of his 'Blog'. That's just more than I want to learn about you, even if you are my brother in Christ.
P.s. Does anyone else find the similarities in appearance between Orlando and Justin Timberlake frightening...? My theory is that, like all soap stars seem to be doing these days, Orlando desparately wanted to start his own music career, so he took on an alter ego.
That wasn't me, I mean that last 'biffy whatsit guy', not me... I didn't know yyou were allowed to be verbally adroit on this site...
I AM NOT A MEMBER!!!
You see I don't believe in Danny!!
Never have!!
I'm an A-danniest.
I believe her name is Chrystal GRIMES not Symons, because he doesn't exist.
Her name just EVOLVED from Grimes to Symons over time... Grimes>> Srimes >> Syimes >> symemes >> symones >> symons
IF there were a Danny, which I doubt, why is there so much PAIN on this site?? Eh???
Why hasn't he created the BEST of all possible BLOGS?
Why does he keep leaving us bereft for DAYS at a time?
PROVE TO ME that Dannny exists... I defy HIM to strike me down... (*Yahahaha!!* Makes defying motion with fist and wrinkles face into an evil frown)
I, worship at the altar of the trivia-goddess Ludicrousity, at the Holy City of YaddaYaddaYadda.
therevhead
PS. I've NEVER seen Orlando and Justin IN the same room together, hmmmmmm.
And Orlando Des look just a little bit like Britney, if you really screw your eyes shut and push your fists into them for at least 60 seconds...
Ok, my head is swelling up something chronic now! Who is takeallthebiffyouwant?
EVERYONE READ MY YADDA YADDA YADDA (aka blog)
Grrr... you beat me in the posting war. You've won this round Revhead...
I just read back on some old posts and discovered I did suggest that Danny call it the Yondike cult. Apparently my brain sections itself off and I can't remember things from post to post.
Not bad Luddy, three posts in a row replying to yourself too, well done, that's worth 50 points! And you disagreed with yoursellf, thats another 65 points and a free post!!
I'm going now, bye!
WHOO! FREE POST!
Huzzah! "HLS" is Hugh, a guy I've known since grade 1, goes to All Saints Anglican.
So far in our cult we have:
Hugh, Brent, Biffy the Wonderblug (henceforth shall he be known as), and Ludicrousity. I don't include myself as I am the focal point of our beliefs, I mean your beliefs.
As to me existing, I have several points to argue:
1. The universe is expanding at an increasing rate, and therefore would have had to originate from a central, singular point, where it will eventually suck back into after it has expanded all that it can. Therefore I exist.
2. Who else would be writing this Blog? Huh?!?! Got ya stumped there, you immoral anti-Dannyist.
By the way, I'M the only one allowed to hand out POINTS in this cult! Luddy, you get 50 points for three consecutive posts and 65 points for disagreeing with yourself. And a free post, no cost to you.
Ha!! You religious types are all the same. Soft sentimentalists!
Basic cold LOGIC tells me you don't exist, you phantom you, to whom I'm not speaking because you aren't there...
Look:
This is a BLOG
An INFINITE number of Blogs exist
All BLOGS have a creator
It takes omnipotence to do the infinite
Ludicrousity writes BLOGS
Therefore - and this is the really brilliant bit,
LUDICROUSITY MUST BE GOD!!!
Ok, Ok, ... 'bit of a letdown, really, for those of us wanting to transcend our miserable meaningless existences, but there you have it.
I blame her for all the suffering in cyberspace...
As for your idea of the universe collapsing in on itself - Yes, but only after a long night drinking Pan Galactic Gargleblasters neat - no ice - with Zaphod.
I think you just inadvertedly proved that I'm right. Hehehehe... your ramblings will get me everywhere.
I think the beaurocracy of those big fat nasty looking things would have something to say about the collapsing of the universe - perhaps trying to halt it for not filling out a Request for Permission to Apply for Thinking About Collapsing Form.
Well I like that I have now been provedn to be God! But I don't like that I'm getting blamed for all the suffering. I did give you free will after all. Would you rather be robots?
A long night of drinking Pan Galactic Gargleblasters? Hmmm.... this I will have to look into when interplanetary travel becomes possible and when Pan Galactic Gargleblasters are invented.
But do we really have free will in any meaningful sense of the word.
Are we not just a mess of emotions impressions, inhibitions, conditioning and other words ending in ~ions or ~ings scripted by our upbringing.
I wonder if we don't 'choose' early in life to forgo choice and to conform.
And once having locked the door behind us we're stuck. Once we've put the Ring on, once we've bowed before Darth Sidious, we become wraiths acting out a robotic existence.
Ah my preciousss, you do not know the power of the dark side...
the revgollumhead
Me thinks you watch too many movies...
Oh to be sucked into the improbability drive and come out as something new and exciting. I would like to know what it feels like to be a duck... they're oh so cute.. Except for the brown-headed ones that like to attack flared jeans!
Perhaps I would be a pink dohnut with chocolate sprinkles. I would have to be the only dohnut ever created with a mouth though, so that I could eat myself.
In the continuation of LOGIC...
PART ONE: It was agreed that all BLOGS must have a creator
Danny has created a BLOG
Danny is a boy (according to his photo)
Only a boy could have created this BLOG, as only boys are capable of creating such whacky zaney projects on the toilet
Out of the 5 or 6 other boys that have visited this site, none have created their own BLOGS, suggesting that the number of boys that have the motivation to create BLOGS is very few
Therefore, Danny is likely to be the creator of this particular BLOG
PART TWO: Something cannot come from nothing
Therefore, The master of a creation must be someone
Danny is a creator
Therefore Danny is someone
and amazingly this means that Danny exists.
It's a stretch, but pink dohnuts with chocolate sprinkles never were that good at probability...
hmmm i believe in danny.....but does danny believe in me?!!
that's a tough one
and here's a tougher one for those of you playing at home...
how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Dboy, no offence, but you don't much resemble a cult leader. Granted, the picture of you does prove that you exist, but should such a fact be celebrated by the creation of a cult. In my mind, I say no. Though I do like the name Dboy. You sound a little like a superhero. Are you? What sort of superhuman strengths do you have? If I were a superhero I'd be able to read people's minds. That would be tops, cept the downside would be that I'd know what everyone was thinking. Bummer. What is your costume like. I reckon it would be blue. Is it? Mine would be black and I'd have a great car like the batmobile, but not black and it wouldn't much resemble Batman's car at all. That's all I have to say. I'm about to eat some tuna, but I don't know which one to start off with 'semi-sundried tomatoes' or 'lemon sea-grass'. Hmmn, I'll think I'll start with 'lemon sea-grass' cos I reckon batman would eat that first.
I wonder if Biffy has any relation to Buffy, and whether such a title will give me devilishly good 'sarahmichellegellar' looks and skills in fighting zombies and other such ghoules.
P.s. I would like to think that his superhero suit would have some red and possibly silver encorporated in the design.
And NO CAPE, we know what happens to superheros that indulge in the luxiury of capes...
do i detect a certain amount of sarcasm within that statement about buffy, biffy?
and if i do, what shall be done about it?
i think buffy might kick some biffy butt!!! better look under your bed tonight.
(p.s. buffy kills VAMPIRES primarily, not zombies and ghouls. there has been some zombie activity but no ghouls to speak of. check your facts biffy before throwing allegations around all willy-nilly!)
I LOVE BUFFY!!!! AND ANGEL!!!! I used to be highly addicted to those shows. They were soooo good. They had some of the most interesting and funny characters I've ever seen in a show! I feel lost when I dont' know who people are. I can deal with one consistent anon, but I get confused when there are so many! STOP MESSING WITH MY MIND!!!!!!!!!
Are you sure Danny exisits? We have established that I exist. Is it possible, that I am also the creator of this blog and I have just assumed another cyber identity? i could have taken a pciture of a random person I know and posted it. Yeah, think about it!
Seriously confusing! How can ludicrousity be god when god doesn't exist? God said "I refuse to prove that I exist for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing" and then there was the Babel fish and stuff and he (or she) disappeared! Confused!
I do believe in Danny though and I agree that he shouldn't have a cape. I've always wanted to be in a cult - even one that doesn't make a lot of sense.
I don't know who talkallthebiffyouwant is but if they had a blog I'd definately read it!
or maybe it is you who is the fiction of danny's brain, or maybe you are all fiction in my head, or maybe i'm a figmant in somebody elses head. ARGH! BRAIN...IMPLODING...FROM...USELESS...SPECULATING...AND...THE...UNDERMINING...OF...REALITY!
SHWLOP!
*brent's brain imploding*
fwloop
*brent's brain returning*
i really need to preview my entries
SHLOP!
Useless speculating does the philosopher make, but you need to build up a resilience to brain implosion.
Seems like we've got some new members to our.. *ahem* MY cult.
Aimless Penguin?
Ithinkthereforeiam-anidiot?
Do I get any credit or ownership of this cult considering it was my idea AND i named it? I WANT POWER DAMNIT!!!
mmm this blog is sacrilicious.
Oh Powerful and Almighty (well, reasonably robust) Danny; Thy servants beseech thee to bend thine ear and incline thine heart to the beseechments ( well, petitions actually) of thine humble and penitent worshippers.
Couldst though considerith, mayhap, creating a NEW post for our meditation and edification. This currentith post vouchsafed us is irritatingly-ith long and an pain in the necks of thine servants.
Besides-th, doubt as to thine existenceth bother-ith not few of us-th. Would thous get off thine backside and pecketh at the key-th of thine holy typewriter?"
Amen
Yesth, Pleaseth doth thatth
No. Eth.
I believe in Danny and i will abide by his laws!
The thinking bit will be a bit hard but OK.
He He He i'm part of a Cult
I've been told by Psychotic_panda, Crazyness and aimless_penguin to join. so i will.
Well our beloved cult leader seems to have vanished, so you may find it a fairly lethargic cult.
Lethargic YOU!
Well done in joining!
ha! real last word!!!!!!!
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