Until I Can Be Bothered With A Proper One

I really do love you all, but my motivation for blogging has been surpassed recently by my motivation to do absolutely nothing on account of the fact that I am on holidays.

So I'm gonna cop out and give you something funny to have a look at instead (emailed to me by my beautiful wife as a suggestion for a blog entry a little while back). See if you can think of some more!

Performance Evaluations Quotes

These are actual quotes taken from some Australian Government
Department's employee performance evaluations:

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-
bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but
more of a definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered
like a rat in a trap."

5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to
change feet."

6. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently
fails to achieve them."

9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an
idiot."

10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts,
the better.."

11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold
it all together."

12. "A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary
ignoramus."

13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

15. "He's been working with glue too much."

16. "He would argue with a signpost."

17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored,
he's the other one."

20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done
using it."

23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train
isn't coming."

24. "He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is out
looking for it."

25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered
twice a week."

26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts,
you'd get change."

27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the
ocean."

28. "It's hard to believe he beat off 1,000,000 other sperm."

29. "One neuron short of a synapse."

30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge;
he only gargled."

31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'."

32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."