What is on offer!

I can offer you a regime that while strict will allow the flexibility of seeing other express their talents and passions. I know that you all have quite a lot to offer this evil organisation.

Wandawanda, I love your peroxide blonde curls! You are a valuable asset to us.

Peebody, I am offering you the position of sole bell ringer. I trust you with all my bell ringing needs.

Revhead, you may eat all the cheeseburgers you wish, as long as you remain loyal to our hatred of the philosophy behind mcdonalds. I also am asking if you will become my chief advisor on all things mutinous.

Bizzle, you may be my right hand chicky. I need a woman's touch when deciding how to best influence my adversaries so I don't come across purely 'evil'. I need to disguise my true motives when dealing with adversaries.

Herr Doktor Kohl. You were a fence sitter, then turned against me. I am furious. You will soon suffer my wrath!

Dboy. There will always be a place for you here, but I demand that you bow to my authority. Together we will acheive global domination.

And... It was me who fixed this blog! I am taking all the credit! I'm sure you all realised it's been down for a day or two. Well I figured out how to fix it! Even more reason why you should all bow to me!!!!!

It's Fixed!!!

Yay! My blog is fixed and it's all Megan's (Bruce's) fault! She/he told me to make another blog, copy the full html code out of it and paste it into my old one. I did, and miraculously, everything's still here!

I can stop moping around like the most hopeless kid in town now! Huzzah!

Peebody Got A Blog!

Peebody has done a real nice blog! Check it out at

http://masterpeebody.blogspot.com/ (I dunno how to do that cool link one-clicky html code thing).

I'm so proud! My little minion has grown up and left the nest!

MUTANY!!!!!

That's it!!! I'm taking over!!! Bruce has sat back long enough in her position of laughing stock disguised as security guard! I am taking you down oh dboy! I have stood in your shadow long enough! It is time for me to revel my true colous!!! I have sucessfully infiltrated your evil organisation and I am taking over from the inside out! WHO IS WITH ME? I will take over this world! Unlike the former leader dboy, I will actually do something about our goal of world domination. I AM INVINCIBLE!!!!
BEHOLD THE POWER OF BRUCE ALMIGHTY!

McDonaldses Are Our Key!!!

I have come up with the most incredible of plans to infiltrate and overcome Western civilisation! We attack through the source of every person's sustainence: MCDONALDSES!!!

This is the plan:

Tactically speaking, what about wandawanda and Peebody assasinate Ronald and Grimace

ludicrosity can stay and taste that new flavour of yoghourt, 'passionfruit and bruiscuits' (it tastes like carpet)

therevkopf could stay here at the base and stop our arch-enemies simply walking in here and trying to persuade our secretary/security with gun to leave

legendarychipmunk can stay here as well and attempt to make as many more versus for our anthem as possible, we might have great need of them later

I will try and convince Jack the Hungary and King of Burgers to sign a pact.

Herr Doktor can work on a drug to infect people with Ephebiphobia so no-one will be able to step inside a McDonalds again.

Problem is, I don't know what Ephebiphobia is. I'm sure it will be ok considering I'm not the one who's going to need to know what it is.

I mean, I know everything and it's all part of my diabolical plan!!!

EVERYTHING!!!

NOTE: My third new thread in one day, in addition to numerous long posts.

My Discovery

[A small break from the Evil Overlord bonanza for a moment]

I have just realised over the past couple of days that teaching is actually a very time consuming and difficult profession. Not that expected it to be easy, and not that I'm not good at it (glowing reports from both of my current supervisors :), but planning lessons, dealing with difficult kids and correcting a load of essays/homework can take up so much time!!! I was at work till 6pm this evening just writing half of what I had to prepare for the next day. Errgghhh... I'm stuffed. Tomorrow's gonna be even tougher.

At least I'm not bored :)

NOTE: I just wanted to draw attention to the fact that this is my second new thread for today for all of my critics. You can stop whingeing now - I've been posting from two to six times PER DAY for the past TWO WEEKS. Fed up!

The Crowning of the QUEEN... of storeroom 12b.

Hear ye! Hear ye!

Verily now comes upon ye brethren a time when a monarch (of the storeroom 12b) must be decided upon. And in the verily wise counsel I hath received from my... very self, I hath decided to crown the mighty Bruce for this very occupation, ere this organisation become cleft in twain and torn asunder.

Therefore, make way for... (not) YOUR QUEEN (who you will not listen to in any manner).

*trumpets blaring*
*snare drum issuing a ceremonial 'rattatat'*
*electric guitar squeeling a lead solo*

The Master Plan

Ok, our overall and diabolical end is to conceive a way of taking over the world and ruining the company of McDonalds.

Considering I am the overlord, it would seem as though it is up to me to contrive the Master Plan. However, I have watched that many TV shows that I know that it is always the sidekick who comes up with the plan and the Evil Overlord takes all the credit. Then the plan doesn't work and the Evil Overlord blames the sidekick, and makes them scoop up pigeon poo for a week (or some such).

So, come up with something that I can take credit for and then blame on you.

D.B.O.Y. Roles

Alrighty! Verily verily verily we need to define our roles!

Me: Evil Overlord

Paulus: Peebody, the hunchback sniveller.

revhead: Pastey, the loyal sceptic who should be more obsequious. Also Herr Doktor's apprentice, who is blonde and blue eyed. And female.

Meegan: Bruce, the hot bodayguard whose gender is unknown and who has a gun of sorts.

King Kohl: Herr Doktor, the resident mad scientist.

wandawanda: Awesome spy/assassin who is constantly waiting for a mission that never comes.

legendarychipmunk: And quote: "the one who makes bombs and blows things up and makes you bombs". Love it.

We do have a huge, evil monster thingy (actually several) for defensive and hero-trapping purposes, who are the evil, over-sized pigeons that Pastey has been assigned to clean up after for a week (they produce the most incredible amount of droppings).

And we do have an enemy: The Strippers, consisting of Kylie (the leader) and 'grrrlpower', her faithful and only sidekick.

A Fiendishly Fiendish Plan...

Congratulations!

Now we have a name and a song (check the blog intro for details), so now we need to start concocting (CONCOCTING!) fiendishly fiendishness.

Bubble bubble,
boil and trouble...

A Name.... and a Song!

MwahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ok, so now we need a name! Suggestions?

It has to be scary, and dark, and with no mention of David Hasslehoff. I hate that guy.

Evil Overlords

It has recently been pointed out to me that my real calling in this world is to be an Evil Overlord, sending my pretties (ie. oversized nazi-pigeons) out to conquer the world (thankyou Martin).

Martin started up a list of tips for me in my budding proffession (my current studies in teaching should compliment this perfectly), and so I believe it was appropriate to devote another post to the topic to do it justice, and for other people to add their friendly, diabolical advice.

Martin's tips were:

- EOs must always wear intimidating medieaval stick up collars
- If Eos need corrective lenses, they will ALWAYS be in Monocle form and glint malevelently.
- EOs always say: ' Muhahaha... You fool, you fell for my little trap.
- EOs NEVER kill an heroic victim outright, but rather set up a complex trigger mechanism hich will end them FIENDISHLY in THREE MINUTES.
- EOs ALWAYS tell their heroic victim their WWHOLE PLOT knowing they can NEVER escape!
- At 2 minutes 58 seconds, the Hero MUST be allowed to escape.

What are the other ones? I really need to take a crash course in this if I'm to start breeding pigeons and crazy plots soon...

My first painted Doom miniature: a before and after. 

Good News!

My mucous problems are now solved! Dry as a bone. I've now moved on to coughing much more, but I think that will stop soon too. Still got a bit of a fever, and I almost threw up this morning - no idea why.
But now, I'm feeling pretty good!
A big 'thankyou' to all those who prayed for me - I'm recovering really well.

Being sick sucks

Being sick is the pits. These are the reasons why:

1. Mucous. Lots and lots of mucous. Everywhere. Mucous mucous mucous. Even swallowing a multitude of tablets doesn't stop the nose from dripping like a tap.

2. Having to breathe through your mouth when you're sleeping, so it gets all dry and yucky.

3. Walking around the house not knowing what to do with yourself, because the tablet you took made you go all dimwitted.

4. The said tablet making you feel like your whole head is full of cottenwool.

5. Having Tuesday night mens tennis begin yesterday, which you haven't played in 2 years or so, and not being able to play because your body's full of cottonwool and mucous.

6. Aches and pains. How can every muscle in your body ache at the same time?

7. A headache that sits right behind the eyes and in the eyes, that doesn't go away. Ever.

8. Starting teaching placement next week, not knowing whether you'll be well enough to go (also not wanting to contaminate the whole school), and know that if you miss a day, you'll have to make it up later. When you're not sick.

9. Snotting so much that your nose goes all dry and cracked, and even when you stuff tissues up there to create a blockage, all the snot runs down the back of your throat.

10. Coughing.

11. Sleeping 16 hours a day, and feeling stoned for the other 8 because you've slept too much.

That'll do.

Me 

It's My Birthday And I'll Post If I Want To

I had the bestest of times yesterday - a family lunch with the addition my inner circle: Paul Scott, Paul Joiner, Andrew Lewis, Matt Toohey, Alex Marriot and my bro, Mike. It was fully the bestest in the world. My mum (with the help of my lovely sister, Rose, and grandma, Mim) cooked a sumptuous feast of roast chicken, roast pork, and a fantastic assortment of vegetables (chief of these being Mim's famous roast potatoes - famous to the dickens!).

Among some really cool stuff (an awesome pen with my name engraved on it from Matt, and Warcraft 3: Frozen Throne from Alex - yay! now I can play on Battlenet!, the "Kung Pow" dvd from Mic, and some awesome clothes from my parents - great taste, my folks got), Paul and Andrew got me... THE DOOM BOARDGAME!!! It's ace! We had a battle (me being the invaders vs everyone else, and they won - first time anyone's ever won with the marines), and it was really fun. The great thing about this game is the teamwork banter that buzzes between the marines as they figure out tactics to outsmart the invader player, kill all the nasties, and make their way out of the base.
Expect a few Doom nights coming up.
I was taken aback by the generosity of my friends. You guys are amazing.

Anyways, I'm off to the dentist now. What a birthday treat! Hopefully he'll give me a filling!